I just bought pajamas with clouds on them. They practically reached out with their little ruffled sleeves and dragged me to the checkout counter, so cute are they. It wasn't until after getting them home that it struck me--half of my chosen Chinese name is "cloud!" So it was a deeper, more primal urge that inspired this purchase. (I know, whatever helps me sleep at night, right?)
But it got me thinking about names again. The names we're given, and the ones we choose. (And, I suppose, the ones we reject). As a newborn, I defied both of the names pre-selected for me-Amy and Jill--by simply not looking like either of them. (I guess a mother just knows these things.) ;) The story told to me goes something like this. Neither choice being suitable, my mother settled down to a well-deserved post delivery nap. Upon waking, in that inspired place between sleep and full consciousness, she suddenly knew what my name would be--Wendy Sue! And so it was. I like to believe that I was telling her who I really was, in my own pre-verbal way. :) Or perhaps I give myself too much credit...
Nonetheless, I ended up with a name which, although not technically existing before the publication of Peter Pan, has subsequently been interpreted to mean "wanderer." A more appropriate title for me there could not be. :)
I have wandered the globe, the US, even the contours of my own mind and spirit during the 39 years I've spent on this planet. You might even say that it's a hallmark of my life not to stay put. The past nine years in Toledo have been the longest consecutive stretch of time I've lived in any one place. Ever. And so the Wanderer lives up to her name...
My name expanded after a two year residence in Hong Kong, where I learned that Westerners often adopt a Chinese name for themselves. My former neighbor, who had knowledge of the language, assisted me in selecting mine, which combines the characters for "cloud"- 雲 and "stone"- 石. It illustrates what I see as the essential paradox of my life: remaining stable and grounded, while maintaining the free spirit to wander. A related internet alias I've sometimes used is Petra, playing on the "rock" theme from a borrowed Greek word.
Other cultures make much more of names and their meanings than my own does. But as one who loves significance in all forms, I'm satisfied with my chosen monikers. And grateful that I have a mother who, upon realizing that her baby had other ideas, happily cooperated with the inspiration of the moment.
-----
an aspiration
to roam the earth, while solid--
that's what's in a name
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